FAQs and Glossary

Can I unschool if. . .

Can I unschool if. . .

Do unschoolers ever use curriculum?

It is not typical, but it does happen. Some kids enjoy learning in a more structured way. Some kids want to prepare for college or entering other formal education. Some kids want to experiment with what following a curriculum feels like. The thing that makes it unschooling is that the child chooses it and is allowed to stop when it’s no longer meeting their needs.

We are unschooling but our family needs community. How can we connect with people?

Many group members have been able to connect locally and find other unschooling families. Please join our facebook group or new alternative group (under development) to reach out to other folks in your area. You can also contact us to ask for help finding local parkdays, discussion groups, and/or conferences.

Don’t kids need more structure? Especially neurodivergent and disabled kids?

Neurodivergent and disabled kids are just as diverse as neurotypical kids, with diverse needs and preferences. Many so-called experts are only familiar with kids who are living in highly coercive educational environments, and for too many of them, their goals are to make the kids easier for their parents and teachers to manage. We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all approaches to parenting or education. Get to know your kid and experiment with what works for your family. You may find that structure works for you. We’ve compiled more detail on structure vs. demands here.

Does unschooling mean letting my kids do whatever they want? If I want to get started unschooling do I just do nothing?

Some people practice what’s called radical unschooling, which to outsiders does look like letting kids do whatever they want, but others still have bedtimes and other household rules that apply only to children. You are the expert on your family and get to do what you think will work for you. Many people start unschooling by doing what they would do during summer vacation, and just never going back to school. If you only count academic activities, this may feel like “doing nothing,” but if you shift your focus, you’ll likely see many activities that you enjoy together and separately. As well as lots of social/emotional learning about self care, needs, boundaries, and conflict. It won’t look like school, but your child will be learning all the time.

Can a primary caregiver work while unschooling kids?

Yes–with a lot of creativity. This subject has come up for discussion dozens of times, with many different ways of making it work. It all depends on the kinds of work, ages of the kids, community supports, etc. We’re happy to share more in one of our support groups.

Can I unschool my kids if I didn’t complete higher education?

Absolutely! You may feel like there are important gaps in your education. Regardless of diplomas on the wall or in a file folder, every unschooling parent has gaps in their knowledge. A parent with a PhD might not know how to build a dog house, sew a dolls costume, beat Mario Oddyssey, or do video editing. Every unschooling parent has a chance to set an example of continuous life learning for their children.

If you are concerned about how you will be able to teach your kids things that you don’t know, there are many solutions. You could learn alongside them, which can be inspiring and gives you a chance to demonstrate how hard learning can sometimes be, but that with perseverance they can achieve their goals. Or you might join a co-op where someone else has the expertise you’re lacking. Or you could seek out tutors online or in person. Or you might find a mentor with similar interests who can become a friend and guide. Just think of what you would do as an adult who needed to learn something. There are so many possibilities!

Can I unschool my kids if I am disabled, neurodivergent, or facing mental health challenges?

Yes! There are situations that make relationships with others more complicated. A family with a sensory seeker and a sensory avoider, for example. Or a mix of people with high and low social needs. While we would always like to meet every need of every person that we love, it is not possible even in the best of circumstances, and nobody experiences the best of circumstances all the time.

Life is about compromises and doing the best we can. The flexibility of unschooling allows us to focus whatever energy and ability (spoons) we have on the deeper needs of connection and safety, and let go of some of the more artificial goals of mainstream education.

Some unschooling families go through years where their kids need to be in school, in a learning center, or they need help around the house to stay functioning. That’s okay–looking for help and considering all the options shows your kids how to take care of themselves, too.

What about when kids ask to go to school?

The answer to this depends a lot on the situation. But the first step is to understand where the desire is coming from. Is your child feeling socially isolated? Perhaps there’s a social group they could join — a club, team, or co-op. Are they feeling societal pressure to attain certain academic goals? You can work on helping them understand how arbitrary many of those goals are, or help them achieve those goals. Do you feel they would be safe in school? Then maybe it’s time to try it out.

Going to school when you’re allowed to quit if it’s not working is a totally different thing than many of us experienced. And there are positive aspects to school. For some kids, the negatives are worth the trade-offs.

If you don’t feel they’d be safe in school, you can have a meaningful conversation with them about why. Be open to being convinced, and hopefully they will be as well. Sometimes we learn the most from experiencing being wrong (and this could apply to the parents realizing that school works well for this child, or the child trying school and realizing it’s not what they want). Open and respectful communication will allow you to re-evaluate as the experiment progresses.

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