Guidelines

We need each other’s support, but support comes sometimes as affirmation and sometimes as a challenge. Being curious, even when it makes you uncomfortable, is immensely challenging.

The admin team for Unschooling Every Family on facebook has worked for years to find ways to help group members learn from each other’s lived experience and research. We’ve found that a good discussion needs shared agreements and shared values. If you would like to participate in this community, please be sure that you agree to these guidelines.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V6-lLGoAcEfq4BkKCnFIqJuKrVxtzH8Xleb61_N8p4Q/edit?usp=sharing

  1. Our group’s philosophy – 100% Unschooling, non-coercive parenting, neurodiversity acceptance, unlearning the patriarchy and ableism. Our philosophy is not a judgment of any parent. We can suggest other groups.
  2. We have a BIPOC sub group on facebook. (BIPOC is Black, Indigenous and People of Color). Not for white parents. Unschooling Every BIPOC Family
  3. Read Guide 1, Basic Group Topics (1 hour of reading)  if you are new to Unschooling, Connection Parenting, and/or neurodiversity/disability acceptance & culture. Deschooling takes a minimum of 6 months.
  4. Center the original question, rather than arguing with other commenters.
  5. Decorum (etiquette) – treat members the way an unschooler treats their children, with support. Remember that some members are very new to these ideas. Scroll past or contact an admin if you are triggered.
  6. Don’t make judgmental statements like “you are ableist / rude / ignorant / abusive/ invalidating / fat phobic.”
  7. Do not characterize children negatively or malign beloved activities.
  8. Don’t say a parent is harming their child. If you believe so, contact an admin.
  9. Decorum – blunt factual statements are not censored. “ABA is torture.” “Fat prejudice is the cause of eating disorders”, etc.
  10. Off-topic: adult-required education, eclectic homeschooling, screen limits, ABA, Son-Rise, DIR/Floortime, Autism or ND cure, weight control, fat prejudice, LGBTQ+ prejudice, and HSLDA. Screen Limits Discussion Post is the only place where limits are on-topic.  
  11. No self-promotion or unsolicited DMs. Okay to provide thorough comments with helpful answers to the original poster’s question, specific details about your approach, and *then* a mention of your services.
  12. Medical – we are not a substitute for medical advice and we can’t vet the safety of therapy modalities or interventions, or diets. Say what worked for your family and why, and / or provide detailed research.
  13. Self diagnosis is legit as is labeling vs. not labeling.
  14. No hate speech. No negative comments about groups of people. No undermining someone’s identity. We support trans kids.
  15. We educate about ableism, functioning labels, adultism, and coercive therapies. Ableism is everywhere, so we are all constantly learning to be anti-ableist.  
  16. Triggers – use trigger warnings when appropriate. Don’t blame others for your triggers. Contact an admin if triggered.
  17. Respect those with the same lived experience as your child.
  18. Don’t use anecdotal fallacies.
  19. Don’t complain about the group in forums. Comment here with guidelines feedback or suggestions.
  20. Posters – please make detailed posts. Include the positive and negative. Include sensory profile. Make posts personal. No unsolicited advice or promotions. Do not “dirty delete posts”. You may post anonymously and/or turn off commenting.
  21. Admins may contact you to do more reading instead of approving your post. Admins may ask you to reword a post.
  22. Commenters are held to a high standard of decorum and support. Admins can help you if you need it.
  23. There is required reading. We may point you to this reading. If you need help and can’t read, contact an admin. We will find a different approach.
  24. Admins are not trying to censor or judge you. We are trying to keep the group safe and drama to a minimum. We are trying to protect members from unwanted feedback. Assume we are on your side and respect you as a parent. It’s OK if the group is not for you. You are welcome to stay as long as you stay on topic. If you don’t, we will gently and privately remind you.
  25. We ask for edits on up to 50% of posts for many reasons. Reasons include, protecting the OP from criticism, protecting members from triggers, adding interests, adding sensory profile, using preferred terminology, clarification, staying on topic, and limiting requests for support to a couple topics at a time. If we contact you asking for edits, we are not singling you out. We do it frequently.
  26. Photo restrictions: No photos with children’s or underage teens’ faces or bodies. Photos of hands, arms, feet and legs are OK. See full policy here: Photo Policy 
  27. Paragraph breaks – to help with reading, please use paragraph breaks (enter or ctrl-enter) for long comments and posts. 3-5 sentences is a good guideline.