More and more parents realize they are neurodivergent when they research and learn about their neurodivergent kids. Many unschooling parents also have visible or invisible disabilities.
Disability, Neurodivergence and/or chronic illnesses affect lives in ways society at large doesn’t understand or accommodate.
Parenting can be overwhelming for anyone, but even more overwhelming if you struggle with sensory overwhelm or chronic fatigue, to give just a couple examples. Most of the support information on “rationing spoons” and “creative respite solutions” is currently in our facebook group and private website, in many discussions between disabled and/or neurodivergent parents.
You can find other neurodivergent parents outside of this group on the resources page and in the documents below.
The short answer is, get all the help you can access and give yourself all the breaks you can. Ways of eating, drinking, sleeping, socializing, and learning look different for ND families and it is important to acknowledge that one size doesn’t fit all. Your family might use paper plates. Or you might wear noise canceling headphones to cope with being around kids for hours.
Find community. Pay attention to how ableism affects you, call it out when you can and ask your friends and family to work against it. Examine internalized ableism, and realize that in all likelihood you are doing the best you can. Connections with other neurodivergent and/or disabled parents, online or in person, can help.
Recognize that even when you struggle, your kids are learning. They might be learning about mental health and self care. Try to be a parent who can be transparent about their struggles, hold space for their kids’ feelings, self-reflect and apologize, and find creative ways to connect.
Successfully unschooling (or any way of educating) doesn’t mean that your child will not need supports in the future. Success can mean that your family is moving to self-acceptance, that you have researched what supports are possible and sought out those supports, and that you have taken opportunities for connection to a community of similarly disabled folks who will “get it” and share tips and tricks, as well as solidarity in the face of unnecessary barriers.
You might be in bed for days but if you can share smiles with your kid while watching cute cat youtube videos, or listening to how they beat their latest video game, you’ll be building connection.
Iris Chen writes about “unbehavioring ourselves”:
You might want to focus on connection and prioritize self care and connection over outside ideas of what makes a “good parent”:
The documents below give information and background about ableism and neurodiversity:
Unschooling Every Family 